WHEN may a child of God lie down? When he can get no higher in his spiritual mind; when no lower in humility; when no further in gospel experience; when there is nothing more new in the Bible; when he seeks Jesus in vain; and when he is the invisible image of Christ in full stature.
I tell you when I intend to leave off prayer. When corruption is entirely destroyed; when my heart can no longer deceive; when I have done kicking at the cross, and never a cross to take up; when the world no more deceives my eyes; and when the devil is ashamed to shew me his face.
Two ways I deceive myself, and two ways I am deceived. When I, to encourage pride, want to appear more gracious than I am; and when through fear I hide that grace I really leave; when I thought I had strength for a great trial, and sunk at a small one; and when I sunk at the thoughts of a great cross, and when it came carried it boldly: one is strength in weakness, the other is weakness in strength.
I am always in fear. When comfort is gone I fear it will come no more; when I have got it I fear being robbed; when I am in trouble I am not easy; and when I walk long, easy I am in trouble.
Two things I should like to pray for. To be saved from my good works, and to have the sins forgiven of my godly sorrow. Two things I desire to see, which would strike me dead. To see myself as I really am in God's sight, as a sinner; and to see Christ as he is in glory, and that is the best sight of all; terror always hardens my heart, and to taste Christ's love coming out of a trial, breaks it all to pieces.
One way I commonly get a blessing at meeting. When the preacher has nothing of his own; when it comes hot from the Lord, given in as it is dealt out, and then it is wet; a discourse laid up in the head is mostly dry.
My dear C., and Mr. and Mrs. G., and all my poor dear souls, I wish you all the blessed Jesus; all is heaven with him, all is Bell and damnation without him. O my dear, dear Lord, and God, and Saviour, Jesus, be thou my portion for ever, Amen.
W. HUNTINGTON.
P. S. Pray let me hear from you. Pray lisp out something of heart-work, that I may guess whether it is Jesus speaks or not. The devil tells me I shall be praised; for this disappoint him, and praise God. I do not like he should please me, I do not like to please him.
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